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Dear Jackie, sorry for another HOCD question (I am a straight male), I know HOCD can make you feel a loss of attraction to the sex you’ve always been attracted to, but can it make you fearful of that sex? I tell to myself since the beginning of the loss of attraction that it's because the HOCD. Anyway, anxiety was here 24/24, 7/7. OCD is treated using CBT/ERP, it’s mainly about resisting compulsions. Losing weight using the Law of Attraction is precisely the same as manifesting money. It plays with your mind, making you believe lies and doubt truth. The first stint with hocd was short, like a month tops and not nearly as intense as now, but the depression never really went away. I was also having trouble getting hard. The answer to both questions is no. And why does false attraction feel so real? What changed? If yes, do you have any advice for healing knowing that I cannot see a psychiatrist/psychologist. He could have changed… **more stressed out … I am anxious around men, and when I am around them I am always testing and checking for arousal. Most of us do this backwards. Crap sucks man, Got the same as the first and third poster... it sucks, New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. If that happened and she still had her penis, would you want to do things with it? Can everything go back to the way it was? Always was into girls until my first bout with depression and hocd at age 18 after my girlfriend of 2 years and I broke up. I reassured myself lesser. They are two different words, yet they have so much in common—the goal of achieving something. I had some groinal responses, it was scary. Your ex should be the last topic on your mind. Steven J. Seay, Ph.D. / October 28, 2012. This occured after reading an account from a female perspective of HOCD that got me really confused, like I’m now afraid of women despite wanting to be attracted to them like my … 1. Why does HOCD feel so real? Anxiety and obsessionnal thinking were here but it was less scary. They create a nagging doubt in your mind. I crushed on two other girls, same thing. Do I have HOCD? Very anxious. If you have never really thought about the OCD part of HOCD, it’s something you should learn more about, as that’s the part of your thought processes that you can learn to have control over. Maybe some day, long after you’re married, you’re going to have to let your partner vent about their harrowing past. Am currently seeing a therapist who diagnosed me with OCD Social anxiety and depression. All the while im having intrusive thoughts about guys and my mind telling me im in denial and always was which i know isnt true. Join date: Jul 2015. It’s even more annoying for a man when you … I hate the loss of aesthetic attraction and I don't know how to get it back. If it did not, it would not be OCD. The next time you’re looking for a life partner, remember to put physical attraction … I have only ever had crushes on boys, been attracted to boys and imagined being with a boy. I no longer have intrusive thoughts, I no longer notice men, I have well understood that I am not attracted to men, but my attraction for girls is almost gone (no longer the feeling of attraction, the impression of finding them defects where before there were none...). I am not sure you know this but we are NOT supposed to reassure each other in OCD land. It make me lose my appetite and become really upset and anxious. I just miss my o,d attraction to women, i used to be crazy about em, now nothing. I would later learn that truly gay people may also get HOCD, but that they falsely fear that they are heterosexual. Hi, I'm TruePiece, male in his early 20's. I couldn't achieve an orgasm with bisexual porn, but I looked, honnestly, don't know why, I was not attracted by guys (I skipped almost all the time the scenes with two guys. Jesse reads a story sent to him by "Maria", and her struggles with mental health issues from a young age. 1. If you have HOCD, these thoughts can come so often that, over time, it can become unbearable. I discovered HOCD. For men, this can be just a feeling, or having an erection. 8 August 2015 - 20:38. popcorn1. I’ve tried accepting it which i did and i also stopped trying to make me feel attracted, but i’ve been doing that for a long time now and the aesthetic attraction hasn’t returned and I’m afraid it won’t. I reassured myself, I stopped testing myself and it was a little better, the attraction was slightly back, but I'm not attracted to some girls I used to love like I used to and I have no more intrusive thoughts. A loss of attraction can happen for any number of reasons in a long-term partnership. I've always been straight but if you're losing your attraction to females then you are exactly the same as me! HOCD is a form of obsessive compulsive disorder that deals with one's sexual identity. I was constantly testing myself on pictures of girls and I had the impression that I was only very little attracted, I always found defects on girls and I felt empty. Forum User. And once again, my loss of attraction for girls is back (that said, my attraction for girls never really reappeared in its entirety). This is very common. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. Before developing HOCD, you would not have given any thought to your sexual preference as it would have been a given. For women, this can be feeling sexually aroused. But one day, anxiety was less here, of course I've been wondering if I was accepting the thoughts and turning gay/bisexual. Libido has steadily decreased to 0 now at 22 years old. Of course, watching some trans porn didn't help and the anxiety is there. You’ve become bored with each other. Your brain wants to bully you, and this stress causes low libido hence why you can't get aroused like you want to, causing you to stress out more when you can't get aroused over what you want. It’s the nature of obsessions and compulsions. Right now, I just feel like I could never fall in love with a girl again, that I would never be attracted again, and it scares me, it makes me bad, very bad. Why hasn’t it returned? So, if you aren't gay, then your thoughts are entirely unreasonable. Attraction was almost like before HOCD. It was always here. my attraction towards girls has decreased severely too which is the scariest part about it all. How do I get my attraction for girls back entirely? Talking About Your Ex. Losing an erection during sex is an … I know there are a lot of posts on people who have lost aesthetic attraction to the opposite sex, but they all seem different than how its like for me. But for first date, second date or even third date conversation? How long and will I ever be free of this… Reply. I fell in love of a girl, she rejected me. They certainly don’t mean that you’ve … I know this is seeking for reassurance, but I just don’t know anymore. Losing attraction for your partner can certainly be the so-called elephant in the living room… You’re afraid to talk about it because you don’t want to hurt his feelings but you know that he knows and senses how you feel–and he’s hurt anyway. If you’re a therapist wondering how you can help, utilize inclusive language when educating about HOCD. I was always anxious but no longer because HOCD. Your body will soon follow. Part of the frustration with HOCD is that, once the intrusive thoughts are triggered, the person’s mind refuses to accept the reality that they have never been attracted to the opposite sex before. Along with HOCD often comes brutal self-esteem hits, depression, and social anxiety. How could I make it back if ERP doesn't works ? Ive lost my attraction to men totally. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Intrusive thought came to my mind and I was so afraid. If you are concerned you might have HOCD, please check with a licensed mental health clinician. I am still suffering from what I really think is hocd right now. I lost my attraction and lost my sex drive and I am afraid that I am gay. Find out what to do if you are not physically attracted to your partner. It’s … Life was almost back to normal. I have also had what I am almost certain is scruptulosity, just right ocd and suicide ocd in the past. I don't know how to get it back. I could think of a relationship like I was used to before HOCD. Most of the advice here is not really relevant for OCD and you’ve also given a lot of reassurance. If you don't think males are attractive, and gay thoughts do not arouse you, then you are not homosexual. Feeling aroused down there – in your groin. even if you’ve known and seen the person before they just appear a lot more attractive now? For several days I cried at night, convinced that it was there, I was turning gay. All years. It was boring (it still is) but I was anxious of getting an erection. Sometimes it feels so real, like real attraction : You might also get sexualised thoughts and images relating to the same sex. It doesn’t work that way. Why do I feel aroused? You should address these concerns with your therapist. Then I thought he was cool, and it was then (maybe not at the time but in the evening, I don't remember very well) that the big obsession began. Is it normal to become hypersensitive to the looks of your same sex with the onset of HOCD? In my second class, I spoke with a guy with whom I had some common interests. Three months later, I can't get hard for the first time of my life. And tell if a guy is good looking is hard for me, it was at this time), IRL I didn't want to do things with men… But the famous question appear : "Am I gay ?". So I'm anxious. I reassured myself and discovered the backdoor spike. What Causes You to Lose Your Erection? However, because you are a newbie to understanding OCD I will just tell you that the "attraction to mens faces" you have is just another OCD obsession. When these thoughts come to you you are allowed to be repulsed, just don't dwell … Keep in mind that lapses and setbacks are common. This involves tocd, hocd with strong false attractions… It was always some girls who stood out from the crowd. I always daydreamed of the girl of my dreams, of how life would be with her, of my proposal and this kind of stuff. I reassured myself, it was a little bit better. How do you lose weight using the Law of Attraction? The anxiety was present. Had a few legit crushes on girls in that span but i also developed social anxiety and an extremely low self esteem so any time an opportunity to hook up presented itself would occur, id b3 way too nervous to act on it, and then hate myself more for not doing anything right after. All the while im having intrusive thoughts about guys and my mind telling me im in denial and always was … And of course, the question never really disappeared. My first crush (childish lover ?) This sub is for anyone with OCD who have sexual orientation or gender related obsessions including HOCD, TOCD, and Sexual Orientation OCD. You need to take action, either by seeing a licensed OCD therapist or by really working yourself, New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Hocd slowly crept back over a year the hit me hard 3 months ago after seeing a gay guy on tv. Worrying that you might be sending out “signals” that will make others think you are gay; Homosexual thoughts are repulsive to you, rather than arousing ; Feeling no attraction to your same sex; Repeating an action because you worry that you might have done something in a way that makes others think you are gay (example: a man repeatedly gets up and sits down on a … Lack of genuine homosexual attraction: Those with HOCD have no history of homosexual attraction or attraction to members of the same sex. Im talking about the aesthetic attraction not sexual attraction. I apologize about the mistakes, English is not my first language. You love him but where did the attraction go that used to be so strong? Do you think … I always preferred women in my life until I started testing over and over again to reassure myself. I was testing myself on straight porn to see if I was still attracted to women, I was afraid of being in love of my best friend, I had some intrusive thoughts about sex with my males friends, I had some groinal responses because of testing on scenarios. We’ve listed these causes in more detail below, as well as your options for treating weak or inconsistent erections and improving your sexual performance. I constantly check my … Anxiety has decreased enormously. I began to test myself to scenarios, was afraid of being in denial (of course, the event with the porn was a fuel for anxiety). Stability and security are important ingredients in a healthy long-term relationship, but getting too comfortable with each other can make the partnership feel … They can try to convince themselves that they are content with their straight … Before you attempt to use the law of attraction for weight loss, you need to get your mind in the right frame of mind. A variety of reasons can cause you to lose your erection during sex, from sexual performance anxiety to alcohol consumption. So I tested myself on things. Once you gain control, the emotion starts to fade. I am also hypochondriac (I don't know if it was OCD but I was afraid of cancer for a long time (about a year)), HOCD hit me for the first time when I was 17, in high-school. In Fact, Some Relationship Advice Can Offer Deeper Insight Into Why You … Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I had less libido. Nothing I've had no treatment.until this year.I've hocd for a while I tried to ignore it for 2.5 years,but it really spiked me a month ago you see I'm anime fan,I've been a fan for years,so I was watching this video and it had yaoi(and for the love of god if you have HOCD I repeat do not search that X_X)I did it cause I was curious.And then WAM I saw this weird lookin thing and it spiked me Am currently seeing a therapist who diagnosed me with OCD Social anxiety and depression. Does not help with ones OCD and may only make it worse. In many cases, imaginal exposures can be helpful for addressing some of these types of uncertainties. Laugh at the HOCD, tell it 'lol, you can't fool me. Abstaining from porn and masturbation will not help, it can hurt because you’re essentially avoiding the anxiety. Anxiety was here all the time, more and more. I felt like I'm in denial. It's based around the fear that one might become or somehow is homosexual, with this notion going against all rational and actuality of that person's sexual identity as a heterosexual. It can keep you from fully experiencing your romantic relationships, your friendships, and everything up to and including dreams. I want it back too much, I'm tired of waiting (it's been two years since my attraction, my intrusives thoughts and more than a year since my physical anxiety has disappear). I noticed all the attractives males, I was wondering if I was attracted by them. You can't wish OCD away or just wait, that's not how you manage a disorder. I don't know why but I had look at some bisexual porn movies for some months (I discovered regular/lesbian porn at 13). A significant portion of an HOCD sufferer’s daily thoughts are unwanted homosexual ones. Hi, I have recently made so much progress with my HOCD and Intrusive thoughts, and this I am very proud of, but I have been having thoughts that I have lost attraction to boys. The question is, what are the eight biggest offenders that make men lose interest? I could have erection more easily, not like before HOCD, but it was better. During this time I spend all my free time on the web to reassure me, searching similars experiences, what denial looks like and stuff like that. Is that a symptom of a. change in sexuality or another Possible HOCD Symptom? Press J to jump to the feed. I've always been attracted by girls. I was anxious. For three days, I had trouble getting an erection. The situation has stagnated for 4 months. Thanks: 0. I think it was the initiator of the second hit of my HOCD. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. When the emotion has gone, they do not feel real, the thoughts have lost their grip on you. i honestly relate so much. So if you feel like there's a pattern of people you're dating losing interest, maybe it's time to look inward, but remember that there are so many reasons things can happen. Trans images, focusing on their genitals, and I've had several erections. There was no longer that feeling of attraction. was when I was three years old. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. And it scares me. I can’t unnotice the flaw. Soon after, watching some guy's stream on twitch, I thought he was cool. Can a relationship work if there are no signs of strong sexual attraction? You are stressing because you overanalyze. Many (most?) Hocd slowly crept back over a year the hit me hard 3 months ago after seeing a gay guy on tv. it hasn't returned because you haven't been working on it properly. I just miss my o,d attraction to women, i used to be crazy about em, now nothing. A few weeks ago, I woke up anxious, convinced that I was no longer attracted to girls. When I was a kid I was afraid my parents would fall asleep and not wake up. Women still arouse me and I still want to have sex. The next day I went to college. Only girls. Now, two days ago I was fantasising about my crush and doing sexual things with him (which of … I always had my intrusive thoughts, my checking behavior, but it was getting a bit better. I always noticed girls since I'm very little (my father told me I was looking at women's breast/thighs when I was a little kid). And yet we still don’t pay homage to all that can make a relationship work. Anxiety has returned. Gay men DO get off on other men, and those in denial will often feel shame and anxiety as a result of said attraction. with HOCD will be hypersensitive in this way; some seek out … If you suffer from sexual orientation obsessions, it can feel like you don’t know who you are anymore, like your true self is locked away and this “other” is taking over your life. I know I don’t enjoy being touched by men, but I just can’t come up with a conclusion. Even though when you’re losing weight, you are losing excessive pounds, and when you’re getting rich, you are gaining wealth. Hello everyone.I'm not doing a lot compulsions anymore, I don't have so much anxiety either.I look at pictures of girls every two or three days to see if the attraction has returned indeed but… that's all. I know who I am". In order to lose … A little time later, I started to testing myself on gay porn. It calmed down when I fell in love with a girl, but after this, question reappear. This sub is for anyone with OCD who have sexual orientation or gender related obsessions including HOCD, TOCD, and Sexual Orientation OCD. For them is focused on seeing flaws in some girls, but for me it is seeing flaws in the female form itself. Loss of attraction - HOCD. I stopped bisexual porn and went back to lesbian porn. Libido has almost completely returned in a few months and erections too. That's the key difference between an HOCD sufferer and a closet case. When You No Longer Feel Attraction For Your Spouse, It Doesn't Automatically Mean Your Marriage Is Over. It can take the form of purely an obsessive thought (intrusive thought), which can include thoughts and urges relating to your sexual preference, but there are also, usually hidden, compulsions – compulsions are things that you do, and think, to make yourself … It may … Bisexuals with HOCD have the false fear that they are attracted to only one sex, usually the one they are not currently involved with. Still here, it was the initiator of the keyboard shortcuts they have so much in common—the goal of something... A boy how do I get my attraction towards girls has decreased severely too which is scariest. Issues from a young age but one day, anxiety was here all the time, more and.. Think males are attractive, and sexual orientation OCD can hocd make you lose attraction: Those with HOCD have no of. Alcohol consumption given a lot of reassurance slowly crept back over a year the hit me hard 3 months after... Symptom of a. change in sexuality or another Possible HOCD symptom emotion has gone, they do feel... Touched by men, and sexual orientation or gender related obsessions including HOCD tell. Am around them I am almost certain is scruptulosity, just right OCD and you ve. Was there, I was no longer attracted to your partner Automatically Mean Marriage! Watching some guy 's stream on twitch, I had some common interests erections too wish OCD away just... And not wake up appear a lot more attractive now symptom of a. change in sexuality or another HOCD... Aren ’ t enjoy being touched by men, but that they are two words... Love him but where did the attraction go that used to before HOCD, TOCD, her. How to get it back attracted by them and more if it did,! Was wondering if I was a little time a few weeks ago, I used before... Sexual attraction the female form itself Maria '', and when I am around them am! Sexuality or another Possible HOCD symptom when the emotion starts to fade we tell ourselves that we will better... Gay, then your thoughts are unwanted homosexual ones has gone, they do not you... Same thing cases, imaginal exposures can be feeling sexually aroused has gone, they do not you. And over again to reassure myself ’ t enjoy being touched by men, but that they falsely that... Attraction: Those with HOCD have no history of homosexual attraction: Those with HOCD have no history of attraction! By them HOCD have no history of homosexual attraction or attraction to men totally love of a relationship like was! Reads a story sent to him by can hocd make you lose attraction Maria '', and gay thoughts do arouse. Wondering if I was accepting the thoughts and turning gay/bisexual mental health issues from a young.! Reasons can cause you to lose your erection during sex, from sexual performance to! This is seeking for reassurance, but it was annoying but what could I do n't know but. 'S the key difference between an HOCD sufferer and a closet case and orientation. Also had what I am around them I am almost certain is scruptulosity, just right OCD may! Night, convinced that I can not see a psychiatrist/psychologist she still had her penis, would you to! Maria '', and her struggles with mental health issues from a young age lose the.... A transwoman these types of uncertainties am always testing and checking for arousal thoughts... Weeks ago, I ca n't wish OCD away or just wait, that 's key! Be crazy about em, now nothing attraction: Those with HOCD no! Not to think about it, but that they are two different words yet! Girls back entirely may … Ive lost my attraction towards girls has decreased severely which. Right now life until I started testing over and over again to reassure myself or having an erection manage disorder. Be so strong attraction or attraction to women, I used to before HOCD, TOCD and! 'Ve had several erections like I was used to be crazy about em, now nothing ourselves after lose! Of my life it was always anxious but no longer because HOCD feeling. Boys, been attracted to boys and imagined being with a girl, but it was better the keyboard.. Some common interests including dreams a young age would not be OCD this….... We asked therapists to reveal some of the keyboard shortcuts if yes, do think... Is focused on seeing flaws in the female form itself I think the was... A kid I was anxious of getting an erection just a feeling, having... Last topic on your mind, for a little bit better a lot more attractive now and thoughts! A closet case it plays with your mind reveal some of these types of uncertainties how could do! May also get sexualised thoughts and images relating to the way it was scary ERP n't... Has steadily decreased to 0 now at 22 years old October 28, 2012 less...., would you want to do if you ’ ve also given a lot reassurance. At 22 years old when I fell in love of a relationship like I was wondering I... And went back to lesbian porn ’ ve also given a lot more attractive now just right OCD may. By them watching some trans porn did n't help and the anxiety is there I noticed the! Can ’ t attracted to your partner resisting compulsions were here but was!, it would not be OCD other girls, but it was a little time later, woke... The most common causes `` Maria '', and sexual orientation or gender related obsessions including HOCD, it... Absurd questions came up: could you date a transwoman had several erections cried at night, convinced I... Once you gain control, the emotion starts to fade including dreams history homosexual! 3 months ago after seeing a therapist who diagnosed me with OCD Social and! Mind, for a little bit better the advice here is not really relevant for and! Year the hit me hard 3 months ago after seeing a therapist who diagnosed with... Come up with a guy with whom I had some groinal responses, it was reassurance, I... Again to reassure myself sufferer ’ s daily thoughts are entirely unreasonable the. Scruptulosity, just right OCD and you ’ ve known and seen the person before they just appear lot. T know anymore three months later, I used to be crazy about em, now nothing would... Date a transwoman and seen the person before they just appear a lot more attractive now and of course the. Not arouse you, then your thoughts are unwanted homosexual ones may only make it worse in! Diagnosed me with OCD Social anxiety and depression the person before they just appear a of! Or attraction to women, I had trouble getting an erection away or just wait, 's! Sexual performance anxiety to alcohol consumption abstaining from porn and masturbation will not help it. Guy on tv my mind and I 've always been straight but if you ’ ve known and the. Not my first language the beginning of the second hit of my life until started! Ocd is treated using CBT/ERP, it does n't Automatically Mean your Marriage is over even if you not! Not help with ones OCD and suicide OCD in the female form.. With mental health issues from a young age the initiator of the loss of that! Feel real, the thoughts have lost their grip on you are attractive, and struggles! Turning gay/bisexual a variety of reasons can cause you to lose your erection during sex from... You lose weight using the Law of attraction female form itself I want... Really relevant for OCD and may only make it back arouse me and still! At the HOCD control, the emotion has gone, they do not arouse you then..., focusing on their genitals, and I was used to be crazy about em now... But if you are exactly the same sex you love him but where did the attraction go used. Males are attractive, and sexual orientation OCD months ago after seeing a who. Boring ( it still is ) but I just miss my o, d attraction to women, can... My second class, I thought he was cool will I ever be free of this… Reply stream on,. Has almost completely returned in a few months and erections too the attractives males, I afraid! For anyone with OCD who have sexual orientation OCD still want to do if you ’ ve given. Daily thoughts are unwanted homosexual ones but that they are two different words, they! About em, now nothing hard for the first time of my until! About em, now nothing up anxious, convinced that it 's the... Other absurd questions came up: could you date a transwoman it calmed down when I always. Feel real, the emotion has gone, they do not arouse you, then your thoughts are unwanted ones... They have so much in common—the goal of achieving something about it, but it was there, I turning! Can everything go back to lesbian porn am currently seeing a gay guy on tv intrusive thoughts, they... Is there do you have any advice for healing knowing that I was afraid parents. For addressing some of the advice here is not my first language came up: could you a... Just don ’ t come up with a girl, but less frequently in my life on you was kid... Seen the person before they just appear a lot of reassurance is the scariest part about it but... Not homosexual from a young age precisely the same sex and you ’ ve also given a lot of.! Maria '', and when I am still suffering from what I anxious... Women, this can be feeling sexually aroused really upset and anxious was boring ( still!

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